Tuesday, July 24, 2012

When Words Paint the Picture: Who is Matthew Darringer?

There has been a lot of buzz around Facebookland recently surrounding Matthew Darringer, some of the reports so over the top it feels as if the stories can’t possibly be true. So who is Matthew Darringer? If you want to know, you could try asking him. When that fails…try Google.

According to Matthew Darringer’s public timeline, he created his Facebook account on September 4, 2011. It’s pretty difficult to find any record of him prior to that date. However, there is a record of an interview conducted eleven months ago, by fellow Bakersfield resident Lee Prewett.

Prewett was the registered owner of the now defunct Salton Sea Chronicles Blog. Although Prewett announced last month via his Twitter account that he no longer had time to maintain his blog, there is still a record of the posts via Networked Blogs. And from those records an interesting picture begins to emerge.

In the month before Prewett first interviewed Darringer, he posted a blog titled: The Union #WIP by Michael Ramsey. A few weeks later, Prewett posted an excerpt from The Union, by Michael Ramsey for the popular Six Sentence Sunday blog hop. A few weeks later came the first interview with Darringer, titled, A Few Minutes With Emerging Writer Matthew Darringer. The next post featured an article from Darringer, in which he discusses creating cover art, using an example from his own work in progress…The Union, by Matthew Lee Darringer. In fact, a quick scroll through Darringer’s own blog reveals dozes of covers for The Union, by Matthew Lee Darringer. There is no further mention I could find of Michael Ramsey, the first author featured as the author of The Union. Prewett virtually stopped posting on his blog…the same time Matthew Darringer started his blog.

Prewett’s Twitter handle is Lee Prewett @ SaltonLee, and although he’s not particularly active, there are several interesting tweets. On May 23, Prewett tweets a link with the message “An article on head hopping...reading now.” The link leads directly to Darringer’s blog, to an article he says was written by his editor, Lee Prewett. There are many other tweets providing links to Darringers work  until going back to mid August of last year, the same time frame when Darringer’s blog was created. Interestingly, in early August, Prewett had a conversation with @RICKmaniac1, a no longer active Twitter handle. They were making plans to meet at Zingo’s, a location prominently mentioned in Darringer's blog. Follow the series of Prewett’s tweets from August 8:

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1"Matthew" needs to do research for his novel
SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Matthew and I understand each other
SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Like having a meal with three writers for the price of 2
SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 lol I must do this, "Matthew" needs it.
SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Matthew cannot wait to meet you

So what is Prewett to Darringer? That is an excellent question. Perhaps one of them would care to expound.

Part Two

“People suffering from NPD [Narcissistic Personality Disorder] have an extreme preoccupation with themselves.” Matthew Darringer, November 1, 2011

Darringer has repeatedly identified himself on Facebook as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist located in Bakersfield. In California, the Board of Behavioral Sciences maintains a live public database of all mental health professionals for the protection of clients. After scrolling through all 1,347 names on file as of July 22, not one of them was named Matthew Darringer. Therapists are prevented from revealing information about their clients, unless the person poses a clear danger to himself or others.

The qualification standards for becoming a licensed therapist requires the prospective counselor to attend therapy in order to uncover and treat any personal issues or history the therapist potentially could project into the counseling relationship. Darringer has left a wide path of his own words, publicly available, and although some of his blog entries have been recently deleted, records have been saved. The following excerpts were taken directly from blog posts publicly available on July 22, 2012. Dates have been included for reference.

Aug 14, 2011
I won't do Facebook because I don't especially care about my family, their random baby making, and drunken brawls. I don't have happy pictures of my welfare Christmases to post. I sure as hell don't want a running record of who I'm in bed with saying how terrible I am.

Sept 14, 2011
I am not at liberty to discuss any of the sessions I have conducted, but suffice it to say, domestic violence is everywhere in this town regardless of sexual orientation.

Sept 20, 2011
I like that I have chosen a profession where I will receive insurance money to listen to people try to convince me they are right only to decide they really need me after they find they are wrong.
For a while now, I have run up against a few common threads among women who are either divorced, divorcing, or considering divorce.
My advice to men? Do NOT get married or share a bank account.

Sept 29, 2011
…It may be time to abandon marriage. I expect to be excoriated for this blog post, but unfortunately all you hot heads, the research shows without a doubt what I am saying to be fact. So be livid, but know I'm right and it sucks to be you if you refuse to confront hard truths…
… My advice to men:

1. Do not get married.
2. Do not commingle any financial resources.
3. Do not buy anything jointly.
4. Do not file taxes jointly.
5. Sign no joint contracts (mortgage, rental, buying a new fridge...)
6. Do not satisfy her needs if she is not satisfying yours EQUALLY.

The bottom line is that divorce lawyers are 100% behind all forms of marriage because it means more business down the road.

Oct 8, 2011
I had a session with a lady the a while ago who was insecure because her husband's head snapped every time he saw a beautiful woman. She then went into what I call "woman spew" where she vented while absolutely incapable of listening yet wanting to be told she was right.

Sorry toots! No can do.

I interrupted her narcissistic rant to ask what sex with him was like. She said he was great in bed, but was he thinking of the other woman? I replied: "So what if he is? He's bringing the sex to you. I guarantee you he knows whom he is screwing." She did a "yeah but" and I told her she had two choices: (1) dive in and ramp up his fantasy and enjoy the prodigious rewards of his sex (she adores sex with him), or (2) whine, bitch, moan, complain, and go passive aggressive--as so many women do in that position--and drive him away to the point he may go elsewhere for sex…

Dec. 3, 2011
…With my female clients who want to save their non-abusive relationships, I have to convince them to radically increase the frequency of sex even if they "know" they will not be orgasmic. Women who have frequent sex with their partner tend to be easily orgasmic. The data on this is massive. In essence, women would be happier if they screwed with the reckless abandon men have toward sex.
…Women who feel orgasmic tend to simplify the emotional ropes they impose on a relationship, which then makes men more engaged, which in turn makes women happier in the relationship….

July 3, 2012
About two months ago a couple sat before me for the first time. They had come to therapy because, as the wife put it, her husband “suddenly turned gay” and she wanted to make peace before she divorced him. She wanted triangulation. She would talk to me. I would talk to him and so on. I told her as THEIR therapist my goal was to get them to a place of real, unvarnished, no bullshit communication….

…I am so NOT a hand holder, but right off the bat it was blatantly obvious which of them was the issue. The cage fight was on and that is the only efficient way to deal with psychopathy...
…Ample evidence exists that modern women are very likely to suffer from a comorbidity of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which can then lead to psychopathy…

July 10, 2012
Some evidence suggests the reason that the straight male number is only 24% is not because straight males are wired differently, but rather that several things happen in a divorce. The financial rape of men continues unabated by the court system. Female bullying of men via demanding money or using children as weapons is prevalent. These numbers have decreased not because of “family values” but because of the (un)Equal Rights movement. Forty to fifty years ago, if a woman divorced, she was pretty much at the mercy of what her ex-husband was willing to part with. The (un)Equal Rights movement essentially made “his” money hers. Thus straight men have a kind of forced monogamy that their predecessors did not have. Going back in time straight men were more non-monogamous than they are now.

Nov 1, 2011
Bipolar disorder is serious business and while it may explain certain behaviors, it does not excuse them….
When confronted on the drama, a bipolar person will either cower, appear pathetic, and blame the disease or will lash out trying to make anyone else be the root cause. Both behaviors are manipulative and such manipulation leads to bullying.

Nov 5, 2011
I literally never bottomed until after leaving the scene because I never wanted to be a sub. I still do not want to be the sub. I am not that into bottoming, but if I were with a man in the bedroom, it would be about mutual wants and deciding what we will do together. If I “expect” a man to bottom for me, I should “assume” he has the right to shift roles if he wants to. An “I only top” or “I only bottom” stance can breed psychological dysfunction and really mess up a relationship.

Oct 25, 2011
#5 Make Love Not Sex
I love good, old, raunchy sex, but good, old, raunchy sex is only fun in the context of making love. I've "made sex" enough in my life to know the difference and the latter is empty.
As for technique, pay attention to what your lover loves and make the moment happen!

Sept 6, 2011
If all you want is inches, I'm not your man.
If all you want is shallow, I'm not your man.
I think I'm in crisis.
 July 19, 2011
I have long been on record that sex between men in gay literature should reflect what is their actual experience rather than be portrayed through a sanitized, female-centric lens with rose-petal-strewn sheets and warm towels for cleaning up the mess.

Darringer’s blog was available for public viewing as of the morning of July 23, 2012. I encourage any of you who still have questions to read through his blog. If Darringer is a real person and a real Marriage and Family Therapist, then his own words speak volumes about his qualifications. Everything in this post is publicly available information. I invite readers to share additional quotes or screen captures, but I ask that you respect the privacy of those possibly named in some of Darringer’s more blatantly offensive posts.

Maybe nothing here that’s admissible in a court of law, but then again, we’re not in those hallowed grounds, are we? No, this is the court of public opinion. I have mine, and I am sure you have yours.

Lee Prewett’s public FaceBook offers the following:

I'm dead honest and direct with zero tolerance for other peoples' petty, passive-aggressive crap.

Well said, Mr. Prewett.


  1. Wow! What is the blog address, Laura? This is a powerful blog.

    1. Jean,
      You can find him under MatthewDarringerWrites

  2. I read many of these entries in past months. Not pleasant at all.

    1. I agree, Sue. These are mild, compared to some of the other entries I've seen. There is also a history of the most inflammatory of his comments and posts disappearing, which is why I dated these and included the date they were still available on the blog.

  3. He only has a pleasant word to say when it benefits him.
    It makes me sick that I defended him for so long - and he did threaten me when I unfriended him (he doesn't like that - he is the unfriender, not the unfriendee) that I'd "made my bed".

    I'm sure there are some who think I deserve it but that's neither here nor there. This man must be stopped and shown for what he really is.

  4. So after all his posturing about his authenticity as a gay ex hustler - a HOT - gay ex hustler that isn't who he is at all...I just found his real photo...my God.

    1. And posturing about fake identities on Facebook.

    2. I find it particularly disturbing whether this man is a teacher or counselor, that he's allowed to walk around society free and not in a looney bin. This is quite disturbing. I was on another blog the other night with screen pictures of things he's said about people and that he does shit like this to get a rise out of people,then he goes on to bash a guy that recently died. I saved that screen capture just in case no one believes me. The man is some piece of work...He's been bashing everyone else with a pen name because his talent doesn't measure up to theirsw hen all along he's the fake...My friend always say "those who protest the loudest have lots more to hide."

  5. Creepy. Very much so. I am sick over this mess he's made of our generally tight community. I looked him up. Um...wow he's a professional con.

  6. um wow..just looked at the blog and I swear he really hates women period. *shakes head* What a piece of work

  7. I don't know Matthew, but the only interaction I had with him on FB was extremely confrontational. After I made a flippant remark on a thread, he replied to me with anger out of all proportion to the situation. That's all I know about him. I found this blog post quite interesting.

  8. There is so much irony in this, I can barely wrap my mind around it.

  9. And just to continue the thread, here is his blog for today, and yes of course it is the mothers fault and is he a sex therapist?

    "Jul 24Matthew Darringer Writes

    I have a client I will call “Rodney” who is a straight man in his thirties who is a virgin in the sense that he has never had vaginal, penetrative sex. He masturbates incessantly to straight porn. His father left his mother and his mother—based on his descriptions of her—suffers from narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.

    The latter would indicate that she has stormy relationships with people and especially males. Rodney says that his mom has never had a successful relationship with a man and calls all men “cocks” and “dickheads” and that her hatred for men was also focused on her boy.

    If he got caught playing with himself, she beat him. Up until age fourteen, she would inspect him after a shower to see if he had been playing with himself. Let’s not mention that a boy in puberty can get an erection over literally anything. The level of shaming he received for having a penis was severe.

    The problem is that most boys at one time or another have been shamed for having a penis.

    His mother hated being soiled by a man and that resulted in her purchasing him condoms when she realized he was masturbating and she could not stop him because she did not want his dirtiness on clothes or sheets. Consequently Rodney was masturbating with a condom on until he felt secure not doing so as we progressed through therapy.

    His mother also told him his penis was too large and that it would hurt women and that his father was also big and sex with him hurt. The message that his penis was too big began when he was eight. He never bothered to go beyond casual dating for fear of hurting a girl or woman he felt for. As an adult, he retreated further.

    I gave him a handout on how to measure his penis and invited him to tell me the result if he felt comfortable. He is seven inches long, which is high average, and is of average girth. He is not too big for sex. In fact, he is probably ideal."

    This isn't all. He really hates woman. Sicko


    1. I've been quietly reading the "Matthew" posts over the last few days. This excerpt you posted here, Theresa, is very interesting. I wonder if "Rodney" is really "Matthew" (or Lee)?

      Speaking of, I found this guest post Lee Prewett wrote. I think it's interesting if "Matthew" really is an editor. That would explain his almost impeccable writing and his way of wording things. Anyway, look at the comments to this guest post. See the "! July 15, 2011 1:18 PM"? Matt used to reply under the "username" "!" a lot when he was answering comments on his early-day blog entries (that have now been deleted).


      Laura *hugs* I'm so sorry you and the others had to go through all this. I'm at a loss for words.

    2. Ive noticed he likes to think he is writing impeccably, but he misuses words more than he cares to notice.


  10. Thank you so much for this!! Thank you for being so brave!!

  11. *Stands and Applauds*
    Beautiful, Laura! Simply beautiful. I think that Mr. Prewett needs to "step up". And I'm almost...not completely, but almost ashamed to admit to wondering what the school district would think of his...activities.

    Thanks for finding these things, Laura. And for posting them. Knowledge is definitely power. And for this type of person to be stopped, we all need to be empowered.

    aka K. Kahn

  12. People like him will fade away they always do...if this person is a narissist ..then any attenion he recieves only feeds his ego ..good or bad

  13. Darringer has been busy deleting his Lee Prewett accounts on Facebook and Twitter and making his website private but don't worry several people took screen shots. He's running but can't actually hide. He's posted another blog today claiming Matthew Darringer is his real name. Maybe he's beginning to believe this nonsense?

  14. Wow, I had no idea. I mean I always doubted he was who he said he was, but this is so twisted. So Matthew Darringer is a school teacher named Lee Prewett. I wonder if the school district where he works knows that Lee Prewett is claiming to be a psychologist? Isn't that kind of illegal to claim to be a medical professional? And what about the people he claims are his patients? Are they really people from his school. How creepy.

  15. Just fyi

    http://leeprewettauthor.com/about/ is now blocked to all who haven't been invited

    http://matthewdarringerwrites.blogspot.co.uk/ is now blocked to all who haven't been approved

    Lee's profile on FB and Twitter is gone.

    According to the open letter he posted that SJD Peterson sent him, he is STILL among us...as he states: "The better question is who am I that is hiding in plain sight in the m/m circle despite being banned from it?"

    He professed several times over how he despised pen names and the like: YET..he openly "admits" he's using one.

    He tells SJD she's the only big author he liked. Lie. There's proof of that lie. He spoke badly of her as well.

    His main follower "thinks" he likes her...another lie..he talks bad of her all the time.

    The lies go on and on. But I have more important matters to tend to.

    Great post, Laura!!!

  16. I was a FB friend of his Darringer account for a while, read his blog a few times. It's all made up. The posts about his father, the interviews, everything. He's not lying when he says he's "writing"; he's just writing fiction as if it's reality. It's a style, but people see "blog", and think it's supposed to be real. I unfriended him when I realized that the person "Matthew Darringer" was also made up. I figured this out about 3 months ago.

    I didn't know there was any buzz on FB about him, though...

    1. It is lying if he claims it is true and doesn't allow the readers to know that this is his fantasy world. Especially since he hates liars and bashes them on a regular basis.

  17. Bravo to you Laura and everyone else who are standing up against Darringer. He clearly thinks he's a "specialist" on who is a narcissist. Who is he kidding? This guy is beyond a narcissist... He is just plain sicko. Thank you for calling a spade a spade and putting the REAL truth out there!

  18. I've known he was fake as hell for some time. The worst was when he had his girlfriendsockpuppet do a guest blog talking about how great he was in bed.

    I wouldn't be surprised if he was a straight man pretending to be bi, all for some kind of stupid narcissistic project. He's definitely some kind of MRA (see manboobz.com for coverage of those fools).

  19. The buzz is that he has gone after authors he says are making up fake names and personas. He insists he is authentic. He is not. The here are tons of people who write using alternate names and personas and that's not the issue. It's his determination to "expose" other authors under the guise of his use of his real name etc. when he is a FRAUD and the worst kind of liar. He has hurt a lot of people. Luckily we know where the skeletons are.

  20. Did anyone happen to get a copy of the blog he did attacking Havan and the Story Orgy group a few days ago? It is, of course, gone from his site.

  21. Ah, the sweet smell of a pitch-perfect takedown. I thought he was fake as well, and honestly have been waiting for his "book" to be published. There are some people who get a narcissistic kick out of posturing as an author, but without actually putting the work in to be authors. A shame, because he has a voice, but he'd go on my "dickwad author, won't touch" shelf on Goodreads.

  22. Lesson, then, he's a disgruntled middle-aged school teacher in midlife crisis? Does somebody have that photo? Some hits came up on Google Images, but it would be good to have confirmation.

    Also, reading his recent blog post, does anybody else think he believes he's in a bad spy thriller ("I walk among you yet you don't know me?")? Do narcissists gets paranoid a lot? Seriously, if he put half as much effort into writing as his posturing and "haha, I'll play you all against each other" cinema-type villainry, he might even be able to finish a story. Poor deluded bastard. He must be really bored.

    1. Funny thing is that, although some m/m authors may have "played against each other" for a while, what I see now is how everyone is standing together as one. Because of him.

      Ugh, I've been quietly reading these Matthew Darringer discussions, contacting authors in private to show my support. But this post, Laura, just really opened my eyes. Thanks for that.

  23. I took screencaps of the blogs he has deleted and his photos from the Lee Prewett blog. He is a straight, married man with a daughter and he ain't no hotty.

    1. I think keeping a record is a good idea for a while.

  24. Oh dearie dearie me, "Matthew" will probably soon vanish entirely! He has removed all the photos from his blog. Of course he has killed numerous posts too which he does anyway. The removal of the photos intrigues me though. I wonder how many of the images he pretended were him were his unsuspecting students? Good thing so many people took screen shots. He is a dangerous individual to have in any school system.

  25. Thanks for all the investigative work and getting it out to the m/m family.

    I have seen the same picture 3 times on the net 1) Lee Prewett editor article from sirra's blog
    2) Lee Prewett - HS Teacher at Bakersfield and 3) Matthew Darringer Blog.

    Same face, same picture.

    its very upsetting to think he may be teaching children if he is this paranoid and narcissistic...i think at this point we will never know his true identity. not sure he does either

  26. We could rate him at RateMyTeacher:


    I'm not sure I learned anything from him - did you?

  27. A link to your post appeared in my GoodReads feed. I was curious about where the photos of "Matthew Darringer" that appeared in his interview in Top2Bottom Reviews came from. I'm not that familiar with the site, but I gather the photos are supposed to be germane to the particular interview. And two of the photos are titled Matthew/Matt.

    Google is my friend:

    Photo #1: http://www.squidoo.com/AlcoholRelatedDeaths

    Photo #2: http://www.inmagine.com/rbv015/rbv0150135-photo

    Photo #3: http://www.redbubble.com/people/davidaroman/works/6226565-man-in-bed

    If any of these are authorized usages, I will be very, very surprised.

    1. Very nice research. A while back it came to light he was using the photo of a murderer of a gay porn producer his profile photo on FB. When confronted he trashed the person who questioned him and claimed everyone already knew and thought it funny.


    2. I wonder if it is this killer. He pushed on his FB wall that everyone should read this and did a countdown to when it arrived at his house.


      deranged sicko

    3. He sounds like a real prince. I'm late to this conversation because I've been off Twitter and on vacation, but congratulations on your fine work. People like this seem to be cropping up more and more.

      Even if he claims that the photos aren't supposed to represent him, he's still committing copyright infringement at best and fraud at worst.

    4. I find it very ironic that all of this came to light right after his postings regarding writers "hiding" behind supposed false identities.

      There's no moral high ground when one is guilty of the same sin one is railing against. Say what you will about me, all of MY pictures? Are me.

      Kind of like in "The Wizard of Oz" - all that noise and bluster turns out to be a sad little man with a noise maker, all alone and pitiful.

      A better man than me would pity him. Or hate him. I find I am indifferent. He casts no vote in my life, makes no difference, leaves no footprint.

      Let the tide wash all traces of this...man away.


  28. I found the photo of the guy with the duct tape on his mouth some weeks ago on a stock image site. I was astonished. "Matthew" is always banging on about how he is truth, justice and the gay way. Obviously he is not.
    It doesn't surprise me that all his images were purloined stock photos and maybe a few were his actual students who I am sure would be appropriately horrified that he was using them on his blog. Of course everything has been whitewashed and he's blocked his blog which I find really amusing. Horse.Bolted.Forget.The.Lock.

  29. He thought he would tear a community down, but maybe he just made it stronger. Let's pray that we remember this lesson when the next bully comes on the scene (who might even be Matthew Darringer in disguise).

  30. What happened with Matt Darringer has led me to the ultimate decision that I want to distance myself as a gay male author from the "m/m" community as much as possible from now on. I see nothing but subterfuge and lies coming from all angles, and this includes the Darringer debacle.

    It might be time to clean up a few acts, so to speak. Darringer is most likely a fraud, however, he made some honest points about more fraud that can't be ignored. And I'm tired of dealing with it. It's starting to make gay people in general look stupid, and we have enough issues without a bunch of fakes trying to make money on our lives and our real identities.

  31. I am going to be in the minority here, but "outing" Matthew as Lee publicly isn't the best thing in the long run for the genre -- in my opinion .

    I am not a friend of "Matthew," he's never been on my FB or Twitter and I don't read his blog, but I am disturbed by the mob mentality of some anonymous posters here. I quote: "He is a dangerous individual to have in any school system."


    Because I teach in a high school and there are a lot of misogynistic teachers and all of them are still working despite being jerks. (As long as they keep it out of the classroom, teachers are allowed to have opinions about everything and anything, just like other Americans. The First Amendment guarantees your right to be an a-hole apparently.)

    What's next report him to his boss for being a dickhead on the Internet and try and get him fired? Because to me that looks like where this is going if you go by some of the anonymous posts.

    I get he is a sexist, racist idiot who has hurt a lot of people via his blog and FB. I understand that authors, especially female authors in the m/m genre should be warned about this guy, but to out his real name, profession and family situation is not the answer.

    Just the hint that he may be an author of erotic fiction is enough to possibly get him fired (i.e. Judy Mays) depending on his teaching contract and if it has a morality clause.

    So, I would hope that the talented, amazing women and men we have in this genre would not stoop to outing someone because they are angry with his insensitive words and actions. Yes, he's a jerk, but instead of reporting him to his school district for being a twatwaffle on the Internet why not just not buy his books when (or if) they are ever published? I think a boycott for a first-time author would speak volumes about his negative actions rather than having the man fired from his job.

    I've been boycotting Mel Gibson for years because he's a homophobic/sexist a-hole of epic proportions. Now I doubt international super-star Mel is crying about my boycott, but for a new author who relies on word of mouth about your book, I think that would hurt the most in the long run.

    YMMV and that is fine.