When Words Paint the Picture: Who is Matthew Darringer?

There has been a lot of buzz around Facebookland recently surrounding Matthew Darringer, some of the reports so over the top it feels as if the stories can’t possibly be true. So who is Matthew Darringer? If you want to know, you could try asking him. When that fails…try Google.

According to Matthew Darringer’s public timeline, he created his Facebook account on September 4, 2011. It’s pretty difficult to find any record of him prior to that date. However, there is a record of an interview conducted eleven months ago, by fellow Bakersfield resident Lee Prewett.

Prewett was the registered owner of the now defunct Salton Sea Chronicles Blog. Although Prewett announced last month via his Twitter account that he no longer had time to maintain his blog, there is still a record of the posts via Networked Blogs. And from those records an interesting picture begins to emerge.

In the month before Prewett first interviewed Darringer, he posted a blog titled: The Union #WIP by Michael Ramsey. A few weeks later, Prewett posted an excerpt from The Union, by Michael Ramsey for the popular Six Sentence Sunday blog hop. A few weeks later came the first interview with Darringer, titled, A Few Minutes With Emerging Writer Matthew Darringer. The next post featured an article from Darringer, in which he discusses creating cover art, using an example from his own work in progress…The Union, by Matthew Lee Darringer. In fact, a quick scroll through Darringer’s own blog reveals dozes of covers for The Union, by Matthew Lee Darringer. There is no further mention I could find of Michael Ramsey, the first author featured as the author of The Union. Prewett virtually stopped posting on his blog…the same time Matthew Darringer started his blog.

Prewett’s Twitter handle is Lee Prewett @ SaltonLee, and although he’s not particularly active, there are several interesting tweets. On May 23, Prewett tweets a link with the message “An article on head hopping...reading now.” The link leads directly to Darringer’s blog, to an article he says was written by his editor, Lee Prewett. There are many other tweets providing links to Darringers work  until going back to mid August of last year, the same time frame when Darringer’s blog was created. Interestingly, in early August, Prewett had a conversation with @RICKmaniac1, a no longer active Twitter handle. They were making plans to meet at Zingo’s, a location prominently mentioned in Darringer's blog. Follow the series of Prewett’s tweets from August 8:

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1"Matthew" needs to do research for his novel

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Matthew and I understand each other

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Like having a meal with three writers for the price of 2

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 lol I must do this, "Matthew" needs it.

SaltonLee: @RICKmaniac1 Matthew cannot wait to meet you

So what is Prewett to Darringer? That is an excellent question. Perhaps one of them would care to expound.

Part Two

“People suffering from NPD [Narcissistic Personality Disorder] have an extreme preoccupation with themselves.” Matthew Darringer, November 1, 2011

Darringer has repeatedly identified himself on Facebook as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist located in Bakersfield. In California, the Board of Behavioral Sciences maintains a live public database of all mental health professionals for the protection of clients. After scrolling through all 1,347 names on file as of July 22, not one of them was named Matthew Darringer. Therapists are prevented from revealing information about their clients, unless the person poses a clear danger to himself or others.

The qualification standards for becoming a licensed therapist requires the prospective counselor to attend therapy in order to uncover and treat any personal issues or history the therapist potentially could project into the counseling relationship. Darringer has left a wide path of his own words, publicly available, and although some of his blog entries have been recently deleted, records have been saved. The following excerpts were taken directly from blog posts publicly available on July 22, 2012. Dates have been included for reference.

Aug 14, 2011

I won't do Facebook because I don't especially care about my family, their random baby making, and drunken brawls. I don't have happy pictures of my welfare Christmases to post. I sure as hell don't want a running record of who I'm in bed with saying how terrible I am.

Sept 14, 2011

I am not at liberty to discuss any of the sessions I have conducted, but suffice it to say, domestic violence is everywhere in this town regardless of sexual orientation.

Sept 20, 2011

I like that I have chosen a profession where I will receive insurance money to listen to people try to convince me they are right only to decide they really need me after they find they are wrong.

For a while now, I have run up against a few common threads among women who are either divorced, divorcing, or considering divorce.

My advice to men? Do NOT get married or share a bank account.

Sept 29, 2011

…It may be time to abandon marriage. I expect to be excoriated for this blog post, but unfortunately all you hot heads, the research shows without a doubt what I am saying to be fact. So be livid, but know I'm right and it sucks to be you if you refuse to confront hard truths…

… My advice to men:

1. Do not get married.

2. Do not commingle any financial resources.

3. Do not buy anything jointly.

4. Do not file taxes jointly.

5. Sign no joint contracts (mortgage, rental, buying a new fridge...)

6. Do not satisfy her needs if she is not satisfying yours EQUALLY.

The bottom line is that divorce lawyers are 100% behind all forms of marriage because it means more business down the road.

Oct 8, 2011

I had a session with a lady the a while ago who was insecure because her husband's head snapped every time he saw a beautiful woman. She then went into what I call "woman spew" where she vented while absolutely incapable of listening yet wanting to be told she was right.

Sorry toots! No can do.

I interrupted her narcissistic rant to ask what sex with him was like. She said he was great in bed, but was he thinking of the other woman? I replied: "So what if he is? He's bringing the sex to you. I guarantee you he knows whom he is screwing." She did a "yeah but" and I told her she had two choices: (1) dive in and ramp up his fantasy and enjoy the prodigious rewards of his sex (she adores sex with him), or (2) whine, bitch, moan, complain, and go passive aggressive--as so many women do in that position--and drive him away to the point he may go elsewhere for sex…

Dec. 3, 2011

…With my female clients who want to save their non-abusive relationships, I have to convince them to radically increase the frequency of sex even if they "know" they will not be orgasmic. Women who have frequent sex with their partner tend to be easily orgasmic. The data on this is massive. In essence, women would be happier if they screwed with the reckless abandon men have toward sex.

…Women who feel orgasmic tend to simplify the emotional ropes they impose on a relationship, which then makes men more engaged, which in turn makes women happier in the relationship….

July 3, 2012

About two months ago a couple sat before me for the first time. They had come to therapy because, as the wife put it, her husband “suddenly turned gay” and she wanted to make peace before she divorced him. She wanted triangulation. She would talk to me. I would talk to him and so on. I told her as THEIR therapist my goal was to get them to a place of real, unvarnished, no bullshit communication….

…I am so NOT a hand holder, but right off the bat it was blatantly obvious which of them was the issue. The cage fight was on and that is the only efficient way to deal with psychopathy...

…Ample evidence exists that modern women are very likely to suffer from a comorbidity of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which can then lead to psychopathy…

July 10, 2012

Some evidence suggests the reason that the straight male number is only 24% is not because straight males are wired differently, but rather that several things happen in a divorce. The financial rape of men continues unabated by the court system. Female bullying of men via demanding money or using children as weapons is prevalent. These numbers have decreased not because of “family values” but because of the (un)Equal Rights movement. Forty to fifty years ago, if a woman divorced, she was pretty much at the mercy of what her ex-husband was willing to part with. The (un)Equal Rights movement essentially made “his” money hers. Thus straight men have a kind of forced monogamy that their predecessors did not have. Going back in time straight men were more non-monogamous than they are now.

Nov 1, 2011

Bipolar disorder is serious business and while it may explain certain behaviors, it does not excuse them….

When confronted on the drama, a bipolar person will either cower, appear pathetic, and blame the disease or will lash out trying to make anyone else be the root cause. Both behaviors are manipulative and such manipulation leads to bullying.

Nov 5, 2011

I literally never bottomed until after leaving the scene because I never wanted to be a sub. I still do not want to be the sub. I am not that into bottoming, but if I were with a man in the bedroom, it would be about mutual wants and deciding what we will do together. If I “expect” a man to bottom for me, I should “assume” he has the right to shift roles if he wants to. An “I only top” or “I only bottom” stance can breed psychological dysfunction and really mess up a relationship.

Oct 25, 2011

#5 Make Love Not Sex

I love good, old, raunchy sex, but good, old, raunchy sex is only fun in the context of making love. I've "made sex" enough in my life to know the difference and the latter is empty.

As for technique, pay attention to what your lover loves and make the moment happen!

Sept 6, 2011

If all you want is inches, I'm not your man.

If all you want is shallow, I'm not your man.

I think I'm in crisis.

 July 19, 2011

I have long been on record that sex between men in gay literature should reflect what is their actual experience rather than be portrayed through a sanitized, female-centric lens with rose-petal-strewn sheets and warm towels for cleaning up the mess.

~~*~~

Darringer’s blog was available for public viewing as of the morning of July 23, 2012. I encourage any of you who still have questions to read through his blog. If Darringer is a real person and a real Marriage and Family Therapist, then his own words speak volumes about his qualifications. Everything in this post is publicly available information. I invite readers to share additional quotes or screen captures, but I ask that you respect the privacy of those possibly named in some of Darringer’s more blatantly offensive posts.

Maybe nothing here that’s admissible in a court of law, but then again, we’re not in those hallowed grounds, are we? No, this is the court of public opinion. I have mine, and I am sure you have yours.

Lee Prewett’s public FaceBook offers the following:

I'm dead honest and direct with zero tolerance for other peoples' petty, passive-aggressive crap.

Well said, Mr. Prewett.